I wrote this piece a number of years ago now, during a visit to India; my aim at the time was simply to observe and record the machinations of my mind as a way of achieving some distance from it, some freedom from its domination of my life and consciousness.
Commentary on the perspective of this piece
Underlying these attempts were previous experiences of internal silence. Experiences which felt very much like switching off the printout from a computer that lived in my head. Through this kind of observation I have come to realise that consciousness is primary, unitary and fundamental and that the structures and products of mental activity are fragmentary, accidental, conditioned, evanescent and evolving. The trick is to remember the off-switch.
That morning she’d woken up with a feeling of failure, age, lack of time, impatience, clinging to her along with the sweat of the monsoon. Three days in bed had rested and centered her but she could feel the energy of the wild horses which always surfaced in her when she did nothing for too long. Continue reading